Another Pause: Reflection

In my mind, it hasn't been nearly two months since I updated my Soundboard. That said, I have been on autopilot since last month and the time has come to take some control and find some direction once again despite factors that are outside of my control.

Since I last wrote, hubby broke his wrist which has meant taking on more responsibility around the house and in general because you don't realise how important two wrists are until you only have one. Hubby is fiercely independent so this has been a bit of learning curve but apart from putting a spanner in our plans, we're doing what we always do; work together. I count myself lucky to know that if I were the one injured, he would do the same. In fact he has done in the past. It's what we do and not a day goes by that I am not grateful for him and what we have.

As a result of this, the publication of Tangled has been delayed because I have not had the time to go through the final edits before proof reading. That said, I have waited this long to get the collection out there, a little bit longer is not going to hurt. In fact, distance and fresh eyes can only be a good thing when it comes to editing and proof reading. So once again, watch this space. It will be so worth it :-).

If those two current factors are not enough, an issue that in my opinion had been dealt with has bubbled to the surface like an overflowing septic tank (ours did need emptying last week so the imagery is stuck in my head) and for the last two weeks has caused me unrest and unnecessary stress. Without getting into the details, sometimes friendships end and there is nothing either party can do about it. It is sad when it happens but I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I have often found that the best thing to do is make peace with it and go forward but not everyone deals with the loss of friendship in the same manner. Having spent too much time and energy that I could have been directing towards my own writing and my own life, I took the step yesterday to block certain people on Facebook who are no longer a part of my life. I used to think it was a childish thing to do but I get it now. Since I did it yesterday morning, I have been able to think again. I have been able to write this entry. For the last week I have been trying to write a completely different Soundboard entry but the transfer of words from mind to paper has eluded me. It is so nice to be able to write freely once again.

When I used to work in London, I would often get my coffee at Starbucks and there was an employee there who whatever her mood was, could either make me smile or piss me off. That was until I realised that it was mentally damaging to let someone else's mood influence your own. Truth is, I had no idea what had made her upset that morning so why should her mood upset me. You can't control other people's behaviour but you can control how you react to it. I stopped reacting to her behaivour. In fact, I stopped going to that Starbucks and found another one. Sometimes you also need to remove yourself from the situation for the purpose of harmony and serenity.

Something else happened this morning as well, I started thinking about the good things in my life. Seeing the good in any situation.

Hubby broke his wrist but he is mending nicely. That is a blessing. That is something to be grateful for. It could have been worse but it wasn't.

This last year, I have not had a single piece of writing accepted but I have not let it stop me writing. I have actually produced more words this year than I have done in previous years. That is incredible given everything this year has thrown at me; at us.

Last week, I had lunch with an old friend who I have not seen in 10 years and it was like nothing had changed apart from us being older and both having quit smoking. It was a reminder though of how lucky I am to have friends who are that solid. Not just her but others. My friendships are long and they are strong. To have that in my life is a true blessing and not one that I take for granted.

My writing tribe has been a source of great support creatively and personally. To have each of them as part of my tribe is an invaluable addition to my life and though we are scattered around the world, we maintain contact that has made the writing process a little less lonely this year.

Finally, I am grateful for my recent immersion into the world of telenovelas which has helped my Spanish return, something that often I worry about losing having very little use for anything other than English where I live. It may seem like an odd connection but watching Spanish, means I am able to be in the mindset to read Spanish. Reading makes me happy.
​
Too often I get lost in the troubling matters of the world and I don't take that pause to reflect on the good, but not today.